FOREVER....

Thinking about you, 

Every moment of the day;

Thinking of something,
I could say.
To tell you,
How much I Love You;
So if I could just;
Just;

I don't know how?
I love you so much
It’s so hard to explain
But I do 

and it drives me insane,
to not have you;
and to feel this way,
It’s really hard,
I miss you babe;
You my love,
You are my everything;
My light, my world, my dream, my sweet girl.
I love everything about you;
Everything and more,
I love the lil' things you do,
which I so much adore,
Never,

Never will I find anyone;
close to you.
Never will I ever want;
to replace you,
I want you, 

only you forever;
Thats my need,
Don't want it any other way
I’ll beg on my knees,
cause its hard enough,
not having you now;
But in my heart,
your safe 

And sound you my dear;
My hug bear.
Everything I love about you;

Even today.
I swear
and if true love feels this way
then I'm drowning in a pool of it everyday.
I miss you my love;
Wishing that your were here,
So I could whisper one thing into your ear,
That would be so true and I would say that
I will be love you forever.

THE PLIGHT

I saw her in the supermarket yesterday. 

She was with her son. 

The time froze and 

I couldn't decide whether to say hi or to run. 

I was numb. 

My eye lids refused to shut. 

I was feeding of the sight. 

The blood just evaporated from my body.

The brain was captivated in the plight,

And my heart. 

My agile heart slowed down and skipped the beats. 

I could feel the life being sucked out of me. 

Hair tied up and held with a clutcher,

she looked just the same to me. 

The shining silver hair were silky as ever. 

I just wished if I could have her forever. 

My feet just refused to listen to my brain. 

Suddenly my heart started beating like a train. 

I could feel my throat dry and palms colder. 

Her son looked at me; 

as I was about to tap on her shoulder

he said, "papa could you hold on to mom until I settle the bill."

The Doubt ....

          "Booking a banquet hall and make them repeat their vows is so mainstream, I should try and do something exceptional, something different than what my relatives did. Maybe a trip to Kerala or a houseboat experience", I had totally zoned out and was talking to myself again I realised.

          My planning always took the backseat due to the financial crunch. I was so desperate that I thought of asking my brother for help. The thing with time is that it passes really fast and the same thing happened with my plans. I had started planning for my parents 25th marriage anniversary 6 months prior to the date i.e. in June. But with the months passing by I could see January looking right at my face. As if the date was mocking me saying that I failed. I should tell you it was very embarrassing for me. But I was clueless and helpless.

          It was a not so pleasant day. I was unable to get rick in the morning and it was hot in the mid of December in Mumbai. I reached office a little late and my manager called me in his cabin. I already had my excuses prepared in my mind if he asked me about I coming late. Instead to my surprise he told me that he had nominated me along with a couple of my other colleagues for a competition and the results of which will be announced in the annual function. It was sort of a pageant where a boy and a girl will be selected as Mr. TBK and Ms. TBK and the winning prize is 3 days and 2 nights stay in the luxurious JW Marriott Resort in Goa. 

          I was sure about the fact that I will never be able to win this because every one in the competition was more smart and good looking than me. My self-analysing skills go skyrocketing high when it comes to competition. Which is good as it helps me in analysing my strengths and areas of improvement. But at the same time the analysis also plays the doubt card. But somewhere in the furthest corners of my heart I wished to win the competition, so I could use the prize for my parents anniversary gift. The next day we were told about the rules and the rounds that will take place. The first round will be a group discussion round followed by an extempore round and a physical round. basically these rounds will churn out the nominees and the final round will be between 5 boys and 5 girls. One will have showcase his/her talent on the stage and on the basis which the winners will be decided. I secretly wished that I should not reach till the talent round because I knew that I can neither dance nor sing.

          I have been part of many group discussions in the past and I knew how to crack the round. The GD was held in the staff cafeteria and the place was buzzing with the staff as it was a tea break. We were to speak on the topic of love marriage or arrange marriage. It was a piece of cake. Let me tell you the easiest way to crack a group discussion. First pretend that you are listening to all the points that everyone has to say and make a note of one or two points. Then in between put forward a strong argument supported by an example and boom. The moment my GD finished I rushed back to my workstation. Later in the evening I received an email stating that I have qualified for the next round. 

          The next was the extempore round. I am not good at cracking conversations. Most of the time I come across as a confused personality. Having too many thoughts and not knowing what to say when. I had a sleepless night. I was at my workstation when I was told that the round will start by 1100 am. I was to pickup my topic out of the bowl and speak on it for a 2 and a half minute. At 1 minute and 30 seconds we will be notified with the help of a bell that half time has passed. One has to speak till halftime at least or else he will be disqualified. My heart was running faster than the speed of light I guess and my throat was dry. You are up next, told the organiser. I went up as soon as my name was announced. I took out the chit and looked at the audience. It was the same cafeteria and it was full of people. More than the last time. I was nervous and I could feel my legs shivering. I started talking and I slipped in a good example at least I thought that it was good. I was catching glimpses of the the bell and finally it rang. It was breather for me as I was falling short of words to say, I finished in the next 20 seconds. I was sure about the fact that at least I am not disqualified. I ran back to my workstation as soon as I finished. In my head I thought that rushing back to the work station is a superstitious sign and I may get through the next round.

          This time the results were shared with my boss. In my department there were 3 boys taking part in the 2nd round. He called us in his cabin and told us the result. My throat dried the moment I heard the results. Mark didn't make it and so did Prashant There I was talking to my self again," I did rush back to the workstation. If these guys didn't make it there is no chance I will make it." and when he was about to tell me my result his phone rang.

to be continued.....