CHANGE THE ONLY CONSTANT

         The counter at the food joint was hardly visible. People were stuck to the counter such as bees to honey. The roadside snacks shop usually had a swarm of people throughout the day. On the other side of the counter was a man drenched in his own sweat standing and shouting the orders. There were some food items in the glass counter which had a 100 watt bulb.  The purpose of the bulb other than emitting light was to keep the food warm. Inside the room was a big gas stove. On top of which was a big black kadhaai filled with smearing hot samosas. On the right side of the room along with the wall was a bench which had the uncooked items.

       I was going to KOLKATA as it is referred now, after 10 years. The air was nostalgic around me. When I got down at the station after a tiresome journey my eyes lit up, when I saw the known faces. My brother and chachu had come to receive me. The childhood memories rushed back to me as it was yesterday, when we were being received by our grandparents from our visit to mamabadi in Punjab. We are a punjabi family, settled in Calcutta. 

Before my brother came into the picture, me being the only son to my parents, I was the apple of the eye. Every demand of mine was met. The person who made sure that I never get my eyes moist was my grandfather. He was a man of wit, knowledge and wisdom. He was a mathematic wizard for me. He was too good with the numbers. It is because of him that my interest in mathematics grew stronger. Though it has always been really challenging for me to solve the problems, where I was asked to find “x” or the probability of the balls being red or yellow in the bag. But imaginary calculation was taught to me by my mother. Here the space in front of me used to become my slate and my finger was the chalk. I would make the calculation in the air with the help of my finger and formulate the answer. The day I did the calculation correct at the stationary store, her was the proudest smile. 

    It so happened that my parents and I went to the stationary store to buy chart papers and settle for the monthly newspaper bill. The stationary store owner chandan da used to deliver newspapers. He used to come on his cycle in front of the building and aim at the house, his aim was so perfect that the newspaper always used to knock the correct door.  His store had an amazing collection of fountain pens. My fascination towards fountain pens grew stronger because of his store. While storekeeper chandan da was about to sum the total expenses on the calculator, I shouted the answer. My mother turned towards me and smiled and that is when I knew that I have mastered the art.

    The taxi crossed Dum Dum station. The road was completely changed. There is a railway bridge which when crossed brought back so many memories. Once I and my father were heading back home and had to cross the underpass. It had rained so heavy that underpass was flooded and it was chaotic everywhere. I had made sure in my mind never to come this way during rains. Just a few meters away was my school. It was always tough for me to find the gate as there used to be the roadside vendors selling vegetables and fish. The gate still looked the same. 

         The entire stretch from the school till my home was surreal. For a moment I even thought that we were not on the correct route. We crossed the same snacks shop. It was completely transformed. The live kitchen had disappeared. Next day I visited the shop. The snacks didn’t taste the same. I enquired about the modification. The owner told me he had purchased the shop 3 years back. That moment I realised that nothing is constant forever. All my childhood memories are memories only. I will not be able to relive them again. I felt a little sad, then finished my chop and left.

Honey! It was a tiring day

She got up before the sun could rise,
Trying not to wake her better-half,
because its wise
to let him sleep.
While she washes and prepares herself
for battle,
no, no this one is not that fatal.
The gods are worshipped and
the tea is ready.
It's time to wake him up,
the income needs to be steady.
The breakfast on the table is laid,
Oh dear God!
The older one needs to bathe.
The school bag is on her shoulder.
Honey, don't you remove the sweater,
the weather today is colder.
While she is back
and to her surprise,
The house is a mess
and she is supposed to make it look nice.
As the hands on the clock meet at twelve.
She is preparing lunch on the kitchen shelf.
The younger one's crying again;
oh my precious!
are you hungry or in pain.
Come on ! finish your lunch soon.
You have a tennis lesson sharp
at 3 in the afternoon.
She is feeling a little tired,
but the clothes need to be ironed.
It is time for the evening tea,
she looks a little weary
and the phone rings,
darling my colleagues are insisting on Rogan Jos
and one of them is my boss.
By the time dinner is wrapped,
she is completely sapped.
She kisses and
put the little one's to sleep.
And when she is about to speak,
he cuts her to say,
honey! it was a tiring day.

House Of Crazy

It was the 22nd consecutive day of madness. The work was driving all of us mad. Had never in the last couple of years been hit this bad with work. I mean there were times when it was this crazy, but the chaos lasted a day or two. This time the shit was serious from day 2 of this month. 

Hi, I am part of the operations department of a company which has it's operations in different countries and this scenario is of my department. Have you ever seen men working on a construction site? They appear to me as they eat and sleep construction through out. I have started feeling like a construction worker. I come back home to rest my body because there are no bunkers in the office. Had there been any, the scenario would have been an amazing one.

There are other teams around me and they are having the time of their life as it is a Christmas week. Secret santas are hopping in from the invisible chimneys. Gifts are being exchanged and cakes are being shared and here I am sitting in 4 by 2 cubical and issuing plastic money to people whom I don’t know and don’t  even care about. 

It is so funny that a person is ready to pay his hard earned money to get money on credit which one may never need. But that is what is keeping me warm and feeding my overweight belly. 

I at times want to smack the computer down and yell “fuck you” at the top of my voice. But I am selfish and a coward. I love the money and the status that the job gives me. I am a slave to my self proclaimed ego and pride to rank myself above my relatives and friends and god knows whom so ever. Will I be a slave always? It’s an answer I have been asking myself for long but, after a few bills knock my door I hide myself behind them and go on with the thraldom.

Is it only me who feels the same or others ruminate too about the same things or are they busy thinking about something completely different and complex. All this while one thing that has helped me through is food and Johnny cash, the legendary singer. I got to know about him recently and trust me he is good. You should listen to his top 50 songs. I love the song “a boy named sue”. Damn he is good.

Should I go all guns blazing like a rebel and fuck everyone or should I just quietly get lost and try something else? But sooner or later I will get married and will have more mouths to feed. Mom and dad are getting old what about them? What about them? I think I should try and kill the rebel and carry on with this shit. I think that is best for everyone. I can hear them from a distance, someone will be knocking the door soon. Announcing themselves as bills.

Mostly I feel that the rebel is the need of the hour. But then I know how Che Guvera died.

Woman : A Man's Point of View

You are the epitome of beauty,

You are of power and 

of unconditional love. 

You give life,

Become a wife and a friend,

You are with us till the end. 

You complete us 

and

Do not make a fuss.

You are pure 

And most of the time

You are the cure,

You work, cook and clean

You help us, you complete the team. 

You don't complain. 

But why do you hide your pain.

I know most us do not care,

But I dare,

To thank you all because

Without you we would be nowhere

You do not need a day,

Like

Woman's day because,

Our entire life we go by your way. 

Who boarded the train ?

                     It was more than ten minutes now since the train had halted at the station. Everyone was becoming restless, especially the passengers from the AC coach. You see the AC was turned off and the temperature in the compartments started rising. I saw a couple of passengers walking on the platform and asking about the halt, as this station is not a regular halt. I heard a tea seller yelling that the rail line is broken and it may take indefinite time to repair. 

While I was looking out of the window, a man lying under the tree shade caught my eye. He was lying there as a carefree soul. I have envied to be in that state since I hit adulthood. I was drawn towards to the man and in no time I found my self under that tree shade. I took out my pack of cigarette and was about to light it, when the man next to me was awaken at the sound of my mobile ringtone.

I disconnected the call and apologised to him. These gadgets have got you addicted, he said. He was conversing in english to my surprise. Before we could start talking, he asked me for a cigarette. Then he borrowed a light. Then he went quiet and started looking at the fields. I too struck my gaze at the fields. He continued, son can you hear the wind blowing by us. Yes, I said. That is mother nature speaking to you, he continued. I was a senior manager in Bangalore. I could not handle the fast pace any longer and moved here. I manage an outlet at the station and make a living out of it. But I have time for myself and appreciate the gods green earth to the fullest. And then he went silent and went back to gazing the fields.

The silence was broken by the air horn of the engine. It started puffing smoke. I got up haphazardly to rush towards the train so that I don't miss it. I was physically present in the train but something was missing.

Have you ever been on a train? At times the train stops at a station waiting for  line man to direct it towards the correct direction. You are in your coach and you look out of the window and notice a man lying under the shade of a tree. You can hear and feel the breeze. You think of a happy and carefree life you would have if you were that man. But then the train puffs smoke and you run to catch the train. Is it you who boarded the train or you were left at the station? 

background picture courtesy https://www.instagram.com/streets.of.india/